Giving thanks: Celebrating Thanksgiving with your Child with Autism

by Amy Kelly, Director of Family & Community Services, Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health

Thanksgiving is a time to gather with family and friends, and to give thanks for the many gifts we experience in our lives.

While it’s a wonderful and meaningful tradition, it can be an emotional obstacle course for families of children and adolescents with special needs. As a mother of three children, including my 15-year-old daughter, Annie, who has severe autism and intellectual disabilities, I know what this feels like.

As a child, Annie wasn’t able to participate and enjoy Thanksgiving in the same way as my other children. But, through the years, we’ve learned to transform the holiday season into something special and exciting for all of us by finding ways to support and include Annie.

Below are a few tips to help enjoy a happy and festive Thanksgiving.

Prepare: Before getting on the road to celebrate with family, or having family at your house, take time to prepare your child for the upcoming journey or family gathering. Using short, descriptive sentences and pictures from prior years can be a big help.
Maintain routine as much as possible: It can be difficult to maintain a routine during family gatherings, but upholding some elements of your child’s routine can be helpful for everyone. Eat dinner at your usual time, and bring activities, games and devices that will bring your child comfort.
Make a quiet space. We all know how stressful big gatherings can be. But when children have extra needs, it can be even more overwhelming for them. Be sure to have a soothing and quiet place for them to rest and have peace if they need to take a break from social activity. Earplugs or headphones can work wonders, too!
Make your own traditions: Thanksgiving traditions – like serving turkey or watching football – work for many families, but that doesn’t mean they have to work for your family. Consider your child’s unique needs and likes to establish new traditions that work for your whole family, such as serving a favorite dish or everyone wearing comfortable clothes instead of dressing up. Talk about these things ahead of time using social stories or pictures from last year’s gathering to remind your child about the neat clothing worn, that special food you ate or who may be coming this year from last year’s celebration.
Express gratitude: Thanksgiving is all about being grateful. Try and remember all of the good things you’ve experienced as a family – no matter how small. The small moments are actually the BIG moments that we remember throughout our lifetime, and these moments and memories are what make our families truly special!

Learn about Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health.

About Amy Kelly …

Amy Kelly is the mother to Danny, Annie and Ryan. Annie is diagnosed with moderate to severe autism, verbal apraxia, intellectual and developmental disabilities and general anxiety disorder. Amy is the Director of Family/Community Services for Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health, one of the nation’s oldest and largest nonprofit providers of behavioral healthcare, and serves as a family representative on several special needs boards in the community, locally and nationally. In addition, she participates with other patients and families in efforts supported by the American Board of Pediatrics Foundation and the Autism Speaks Autism Treatment Network to address children with special needs and the importance of quality care.

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